Let Me Count The Ways
by beauchampalexander
Summary: A series of freechamp oneshots. Title based off 'how do I love thee'
1. Comfort

_Hi guys, I've decided to start a series of freechamp oneshots because I am ridiculously in love with the both of them. I'm not sure how good these stories will be, but I hope you enjoy them. Reviews are always welcome x_

* * *

Connie's heart was beating wildly as she continued chest compressions. She was not about to let this little girl die. No, not this little girl who could almost be mistaken for her own child. Not this little girl who, until under two hours ago, had been enjoying a game of football in the park with her friends. It wasn't her fault for running out into the road to get her ball, it was the fault of the absolute bastard who was drunk, and speeding way over the limit.

The defibrillator shocked the tiny body; nothing. Connie began chest compressions again.

"Connie-"

"No. Not yet" Connie harshly interrupted Charlie's cautious voice.

"Connie, she's been in sinus for fifteen minutes"

Connie's voice cracked and her eyes began to swim with tears as she turned towards her friend, but her hands continued compressions on the little girl's chest. "Charlie, _please._ Once more" she begged. At Charlie's almost imperceptible nod she moved away, "clear!" she commanded, "and shocking". She waited with baited breath as the tiny body was heaved up off the bed with the effort of the electric shock attempting to restart her heart.

Nothing.

Charlie carefully made his way over to the clinical lead, "we can't keep doing this Connie" he murmured, gently taking her hands away from the girl's lifeless body. Connie bent her head, felt her throat begin to contract and several hot tears began to leak their way down her face, gathering herself together enough to address the room of people: "time of death, 17:42" before storming from resus.

* * *

Rita smiled to herself as she made her way into the staff room to begin her evening shift, thinking back happily to the way she had woken up this morning. It had been no different from most of her mornings as of late, but Rita could never deny the warm feeling that spread through her each day when she woke up to find herself in the arms of a certain clinical lead, their legs tangled together under a pile of blankets.

' _Speaking of Connie,'_ Rita thought, reaching for her phone, she frowned when saw a screen absent of any messages. Connie usually texted her throughout the day if they weren't on the same shift, if only to complain about Guy Self or Erik Hansenn being constantly on her back. Shrugging slightly, Rita assumed that her girlfriend had just become swamped in paperwork, and began to open her locker to change into her uniform.

* * *

Making her way out towards the nurse's station, Rita's brow furrowed concernedly, seeing Lofty and Robyn huddled together whispering and glancing furtively towards Connie's office.

"What's up guys?" she asked as she approached the pair.

"Everyone's worried about Mrs Beauchamp" Lofty said gravely. Robyn nodded her head in agreement, "she lost a patient earlier, and well, it must've really affected her. She went into her office straight after, and hasn't left it for _hours_ ".

"Uh…" Rita struggled with what to say as her inner panic level began to rise rapidly. No one at work knew about hers and Connie's relationship, and neither nurse nor clinical lead wanted to risk their relationship being discovered. "I'm sure Mrs Beauchamp will be alright guys", lifting up several patient files, "let's get on with business, shall we?"

After Robyn and Lofty had each taken a file and walked off to their respective cubicles, Rita swiftly made her way over to Connie's office, and knocked gently on the door, speaking as quietly as she could: "Connie? Connie sweetheart, it's me. Please open the door, darling".

Hearing the soft click of the office door unlock, Rita quickly glanced around the ED to make sure no one was looking, and crept into the darkened office.

Connie had drawn all the blinds, and was sitting hugging her knees to her chest, rocking herself slightly, her cheeks marked with tears and her eyes shining. Rita sighed worriedly and gently crouched down until she was level with the clinical lead, sitting next to her and wrapping her arms around the older woman's shoulders, guiding her head to rest in the crook of her neck.

It was then when Connie began to weep, and Rita began to feel her heart crack and break for the woman she loved so deeply to be in so much pain. "Connie?" she asked tentatively "What happened?"

"God, Rita" Connie's voice was barely more than a whisper "she looked so much like Grace and I-" a sob wracked her body "I couldn't save her, and I'm so far away from Grace and I-" she buried her face in the blonde's shoulder and continued to weep quietly.

"Oh my darling" Rita pulled girlfriend closer, rocking their joined bodies together. There was nothing to say, and Connie appreciated the quiet the younger woman provided, feeling intensely comforted by her steady breaths, her smell of cinnamon and warmth, and the protective circle of her arms.


	2. Long Term

_Hello again. Thank you for the kind words on my last oneshot, both here and on tumblr, I'm glad people liked it! Also thank you to the lovely Boots who kindly noted that it's actually Henrik Hanssen (oops haha). Anyway, here is another oneshot for you. There are parts that are a bit meh, and apologies in advance for the cheesy ending, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless x_

* * *

Long term relationships.

The words alone terrified Connie Beauchamp, let alone the implications that came along with them. Flirtation and seduction? One night stands? She had mastered those without any effort. The idea of commitment, however, of anniversaries, of bickering over the Sunday morning paper - to say that was unfamiliar territory would be an understatement. The most long term thing Connie had done was raise Grace, and looking back, she had to admit that she hadn't _exactly_ been mother of the year. No, Connie had decided a long time ago that long term relationships definitely weren't her thing.

That was, until she began her relationship with Rita.

It happened almost seamlessly, one moment they were at a bar for a drink (an effort on the part of Connie's in an attempt to get a better working relationship with her and the clinical nurse manager), and the next they were falling into bed together, giggling through drunken kisses and gasping as their hands began to wander.

After that, well, they had never looked back.

All of a sudden, instead of the harsh noise of her alarm, she was greeted in the mornings with the press of smiling lips against her own. The Louboutin's that lined the floor of her wardrobe were interrupted by pairs of converse. Her Friday nights turned from working to finish her paperwork in her office, into evenings on the sofa - paperwork half completed lying on the coffee table and Rita's legs splayed across her lap, their laughs carrying across the cosy room as they watch gogglebox together. At the end of a long and tough shift, she was now greeted with the circle of her girlfriend's arms and the warm press of her face in her neck.

It wasn't until she was torn so drastically from this familiarity, this sense of comfort, that she realised how much she missed and valued it.

* * *

She was away in New York for three weeks, visiting Grace on her summer holidays, and although she couldn't deny how wonderful it was to spend quality uninterrupted time with her daughter, a part of her felt hollow.  
She missed being able to reach over in the night, to pull her bed mate closer, to kiss her shoulder and whisper how much she loved her. She missed the way Rita's thumb would lovingly stroke her cheek before pulling her in for a kiss. She missed the way Rita would dance around the kitchen to the radio on a Saturday morning as she made breakfast.

On one of her last days with Grace, they went for a walk in Central Park after picking up a Starbucks. There was a comfortable, companionable silence between the pair as they wandered among the trees, although Grace had noticed that her mother had seemed slightly off in the time they had spent together, and decided to address the issue while she still had the chance.

"Mum, are you okay?" Connie smiled down at her daughter, "of course I am darling, why wouldn't I be?" Grace shrugged, "you seem a little down I guess, maybe you're missing someone at home? The blonde lady on your phone lockscreen?" Connie chuckled at her daughter's perceptiveness, "you know Grace, I don't give you enough credit for how intelligent you truly are" she pulled her daughter closer to her. Grace tilted her head, "so, who is she?"

Connie faltered slightly, what was she supposed to say? Was this the right time to tell her daughter she was in a relationship? With another woman no less?  
Making her mind up swiftly, Connie replied "someone that makes me very happy, Gracie" Grace giggled and playfully shoved her mother's shoulder, teasingly singing "you love her!"

Connie stared wide eyed at her daughter, looking almost outraged, "I do not!"  
"Do too!"Connie conceded a little, her heart brimming slightly with the unquestioning acceptance from her daughter, "maybe a little". Grace smiled at her mother again, seemingly satisfied with the conclusion of their 'argument'. "Good. Can we go and get ice cream now?"  
Connie nodded and huffed a laugh. As they made their way back down through the park, Connie's thoughts were full of the future: of her, Rita and Grace putting up a Christmas tree; of the both of them dropping Grace off at school together; of all three of them making pancakes for breakfast.

Connie smiled. No, long term relationships didn't seem to terrify her quite as much as they used to, these days.


	3. Accident

Hello everyone, thank you so much for the lovely reviews both on here and on tumblr for my last chapter and for this oneshot series overall in general, it really means a lot to me so thank you! I hope you like this oneshot, I'm not sure how good it is in comparison to all the other amazing fanfiction writers within this fandom, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

This is probably my last fic before Christmas and the New Year, so I hope you all have a Merry Christmas or whichever holiday you celebrate. X

* * *

The watery sunrise of a late January morning permeated the large room. A trail of clothes as evidence of the previous night's activities started at the door, and ended in a rough, unceremonious heap at the foot of the king sized bed.

Blinking, and beginning to rouse from the cold light of the sun, Connie Beauchamp shifted slightly, attempting to move her body, only to realise she was being used as a human pillow.  
Rita Freeman was curled around her: her leg thrown haphazardly over Connie's waist; her arm curled just beneath her breasts; and her head tucked neatly into the juncture of her girlfriend's neck and shoulder. Connie smiled, delicately tracing the features of Rita's face in the dim light of the morning.

Moving her head down, she pressed a gentle kiss to Rita's temple in an attempt to wake her up. The clinical nurse manager smiled as her eyes fluttered open; making a pleasant humming sound in the back of her throat, she smiled up at Connie, "good morning, you". "Good morning", Connie chuckled throatily at Rita's half asleep smile "I'm sorry I had to wake you, but we do actually have to go to work this morning". Rita pouted, "Can't we just stay in bed? I'd make it worth your while", she wiggled her eyebrows cheekily, making Connie laugh out loud. "Nice try, Sister Freeman" she said, chucking a pillow at her.

Rita huffed loudly as she rolled out of bed and made her way towards the ensuite "fine", she dragged out, beginning to rush as she noted the time on the clock on the dressing table – Connie really had let her sleep in this morning – "I'll have to rush off after my shower or I'll be late, shall I see you at work?" Connie made her way over to her, tying a silk dressing gown around her waist. "Yeah, okay, I have a long phone call I need to make so I may as well do it at home, at least there'll be less chance of me being called out to an emergency". She smiled lightly, leaving a brief kiss on Rita's lips "I'll see you at work."

* * *

Rita ran out of the house at breakneck speed and buckled herself into her car as quickly as she could. One of the problems of staying at Connie's was that her power shower was sinfully tempting to spend all day in, and she may have gotten a little carried away with how long she had been in there for.  
 _'Shit',_ she thought, Tess was going to murder her for being late again. Accidentally knocking her bag into the footwell of the passenger seat in her hurry to get in and start the engine, she sped out of Connie's driveway and began to make her way to work.

Once she had made her way out onto the main road, her panic began to lessen slightly, maybe she wasn't going to be late after all. Humming along to the radio, she began to replay the events of last night in her head. Connie had truly wined and dined her, taking her out to a fancy restaurant; plying her with champagne; whispering sweet nothings into her ear all night long…  
Rita sighed happily, brought out of her reverie by the sound of her phone ringing. _'It must be Connie ringing to tell me I've forgotten my purse'._ Reaching down, she leaned to fumble for her bag, taking her eyes off the road for barely a split second –

-and then it happened.

She couldn't have seen it. Nobody could. She couldn't have seen the car that had lost control because the driver had begun fitting. She couldn't have known. One moment, she was driving to work, and the next her ears were filled with the screech of tires and her world turned dark.

* * *

Connie sighed heavily as she finally made it through the double doors of the ED and began making her way towards her office. She had had to take the long way round to work today due to a collision on the road, making her late for her meeting with Guy. _'Another thing to add to my stress levels today'._

Connie unlocked the door to her office and began setting her things down when she heard the loud bang of the double doors slamming open and the shouts of Dixie and Iain, sounding infinitely more panicked than usual. Wondering what all the extra fuss was about, she moved to see who they were bringing in – and her heart nearly caved in on itself when she saw who it was.

"Okay" Dixie yelled, her voice strained and panicked "This is Rita Freeman, 34, involved in an RTC, was KO-ed at the scene and has been slipping in and out of consciousness since then" she paused, sounding slightly confused when she spoke again "She seems in shock to me, she keeps asking for Mrs Beauchamp?" she rolled the half-awake blonde into resus; Zoe, Cal and Robyn following swiftly.

She couldn't think. All she could do was run after the trolley speeding into resus. What was the point in hiding anything now, when the love of her life might not even make it out alive? Slamming the double doors open, she rushed towards the blonde lying on the trolley, her head secured by a neck brace.

"Rita!?" Connie's voice didn't sound like her own, but then again, none of this felt real.

"Connie?" the blonde mumbled, her head was killing her. What was going on? "What's happened?" her hand searched blindly for the clinical lead's, and Connie interlaced their fingers tightly, running her free hand over the blonde's head. "You've been in a car accident, darling, please just stay nice and calm for me okay? I'm here, I'm here"

Behind the pair, Zoe motioned to Charlie to take Connie away. The nurse nodded, placing his hands on Connie's shoulders tightly. "Come on Connie, let them help her" Connie shook her head, never taking her eyes off Rita "No. No, I'll stay"

" _Connie"_ , Charlie didn't back down, "come on, you staying _will not_ help, step back" Connie turned to him, her eyes glassy, "I can't leave her, Charlie" a few tears spilling over. Charlie's heart broke for the clinical lead, so lost and out of her element at not being able to be there for her girlfriend. "I know, Connie. Come on, I'll make you a cup of tea"

* * *

She _ached._ Her whole body felt heavy. What exactly had she done last night?

Trying to turn over in bed, Rita felt the sharp tug of an IV in her arm. Cracking her eyes open, she found herself in a darkened hospital room. Glancing around, she spotted Connie huddled in a chair in the corner of the room, her NHS hoodie draped over her like a blanket as she slept. Rita was just about to call out to her when the door opened, and Robyn crept in. She nervously looked over to Connie, checking to see she hadn't woken her up, when she looked over at Rita, her face lit up in an enormous grin.

"You're awake!" She crept over to the bed, concernedly looking towards her confused looking boss, "are you alright?" The clinical nurse manager shook her head, rubbing her face with her hands "I remember, a crash? What happened to me?" Robyn's grin fell, her voice taking on a much more serious tone. "You, uh" she started nervously "you punctured one of your lungs, bruised a few ribs, and you were in and out of consciousness for a while there" She blew out a breath lightly "we're all so glad you're alright, Rita" she wrapped her arm around the blonde's shoulders in a half hug. "Thanks, Robyn" she mumbled. Her throat felt tight, feeling extremely grateful for her caring friends in the ED.

Connie moved slightly in her sleep, and as Rita and Robyn pulled away from their hug, the blonde glanced nervously to the sleeping woman. "Uhm, how long has Mrs Beauchamp been here?" she asked nervously. Robyn looked at her friend, a smile playing at her lips, "she hasn't left your side since you came in" there was a brief pause. "We all know, by the way" Rita's mouth dropped open at her friend's revelation and her face blushed a brilliant scarlet. Robyn chuckled at her reaction. "It's okay! It's okay" she smiled, "you should've told us before Rita, we always would've accepted it" Rita bit her lip against a smile, "thanks, Robyn"

At that moment, Connie began to stir from her sleep, blearily glancing over at Rita's bed, her eyes instantly widening when she saw the nurse sitting up in bed. Scrambling over to the bed, she reached out for the blonde's hand, "you're awake!" Noticing Robyn at the other side of Rita's bed, she blushed slightly. Robyn just smiled at both of them, moving backwards towards the door "I'll leave you both to it", shutting the door behind her.

Rita lifted her head, nuzzling lightly under Connie's jaw and chuckling lightly, "I guess our secret's out then" Connie cupped Rita's face, leaning down to kiss her gently "I don't care, I'm just so glad you're okay" tears springing to her eyes, she wiped them away daintily with the back of her hand.

Rita's heart broke to see the woman she loved in such distress, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb, she spoke softly "hey, I'm okay you know, a bit banged up, but okay" A few tears continued to spill out of the clinical lead's eyes and she let out a watery chuckle, "I know, it just" she paused, taking a shaky breath "it just hurt to see you in so much pain, knowing there wasn't anything I could do to help"

The clinical nurse manager's heart swelled with love. Just _how_ did she get this lucky? Bringing the brunette's hand up to her lips, she tenderly kissed her palm. "I love you so much, Connie"

Connie moved impossibly closer to the blonde, wrapping her arms around her and kissing the top of her head "I love you too"

* * *

P.S. I am no medical expert, so I'm not sure if Rita would even be speaking let alone sitting up in bed after a punctured lung, so apologies for bad medical knowledge


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello everyone, I hope you enjoy this (rather short) oneshot. I'm not so good at long stories so I think any oneshots I post from now on will be quite short. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! and feel free to leave a review, as it lets me know how to improve._

* * *

A lazy Saturday morning, nothing could be more perfect than this.

Connie tilted her head back against the arm, wet press of open mouthed kisses against her chin, her lips, her nose, her forehead; her smile widening with each one.

The telly hummed downstairs; Grace was watching one of her shows.

She pulled Rita into her, relishing in the gentle press of the other woman's breasts against her own. Wrapping her legs around her waist, she ran her hands through Rita's hair, bringing her lips close enough to kiss "someone is happy it's the weekend"

Rita grinned, moving her hands to brush against the curve of Connie's naked breasts "you have no idea, an entire two days of doing nothing but relaxing with you and Grace". Connie gazed up at Rita, using her index finger to gently trace the curve of her jaw, the line of her nose, the arc of her lips – all the while her heart swelling at the love this woman had for her daughter, and marvelling at the way the sun kissed her hair a golden colour.

Moving suddenly so that Rita was beneath her and Connie was straddling her hips, she lightly brushed their noses together, before bringing their lips together in a searing kiss "I can think of a perfect way to celebrate, too"


End file.
